You can change your thoughts. If you think things will be difficult, that you are a victim of circumstance, and that you can’t change the outcome, then that will be your reality.
The most challenging part of parenting for me has been the topic of sleep, especially breastfeeding my son to sleep. Whatever the internet was saying, I was doing the opposite. “Don’t breastfeed to sleep, your child needs to self-soothe.” I have a child who is a very low-needs sleeper and he needed help falling asleep, whether it meant being rocked or fed. To make matters worse, the internet and social media push an agenda that constantly tells you that you’re doing things wrong and that you need this product or that specialist to help you solve your problems. It becomes very difficult to sift out the truth. There is constant chatter, and I found it very confusing.
How does one quiet the chatter and stand for what is true and right for you?
Here is an example around my thoughts on breastfeeding and sleep:
What I’m Being Told
Breastfeeding to sleep is creating a bad habit. He needs to have a structure and routine so he can learn to self-soothe.
What I Believe
I believe there is no one-size-fits-all. Having a structure to create safety is important, but being flexible within that structure is equally vital. Some days are good, and some days are bad. How am I reacting to the bad days? Am I feeding the bad with anger, doubt, and frustration? Yes, I am.
How I Want to Be
I want to be at peace, more accepting, kinder, and more compassionate when things feel bad. I want to choose love instead of shame. In moments when my mind is cluttered, am I fueling it with more clutter, or am I speaking to myself empathetically, acknowledging that it’s okay to experience a racing mind and anxiety? How can I bring myself back to trust in myself?
What I Have Learned
1. *I Choose My Thoughts*
I can change my perspective and choose thoughts that empower me instead of limiting me. Like “Hey Melissa. You got this.”
2. *I Acknowledge My Feelings*
I allow myself to feel my emotions fully without judgement.
3. *I Am in Control of My Feelings*
By recognizing my emotions, I can decide how to respond rather than react.
4. *I Treat My Feelings with Kindness, Compassion, and Love*
I release the need to shame myself for my feelings and instead approach them with understanding and care. Like “Hey Melissa. It’s scary but you gonna be ok.”
Quieting the mind requires intention and practice. It’s about acknowledging the constant chatter and choosing to redirect it towards thoughts that support your well-being. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and anxious, but by consciously choosing how to respond, you can navigate through these feelings with grace and resilience. Trust in your journey and be gentle with yourself.
Love, Mel x
